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Out of my hands

It's unreal as I gaze at Zachary eat, the miracle that had to take place for him to be my son. For the physical conception alone mind you, but the hearts that had to be sensitive, ears to be opened, circumstances and people surrounding the situation to all work out. I mean planets had to align. But you know what? Piece of cake for God. Adoption is nothing but a GOD THING. There's no other explanation for this to go down without the power of the hand of God. I am reminded if that in all things.
For any situation that seems hopeless, He is our hope. Situations that seem impossible, He is all powerful. Sometimes we forget that God is GOD. Yahweh. He doesn't need our help or our advice, what He desires is our heart and our faith. I've never felt more at peace than when I have rested in His arms knowing that He is in control and not me. Praise Him for all things are possible with Him.

The last 3 days

Chaos. Drama. Stress. Unreal. Amazing. Miraculous.
The birth of Zachary Edward, the gift of him to us. The sacrifice tht was made for him and his well being. Quite honestly it's overwhelming. I may never know what it physically feels like to deliver a baby, but the experience of being given one is utterly unsurpassable in the ranking of amazing experiences. I don't even know that I can explain it. I'm trying to. Well. I'm verclempt. All I can say is praise you Lord.

Angels among us

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!!! Again HE is Jehovah Jireh. Thinking yesterday about how much fund raising can I do in a short time because we have gotten some NEAT news...On the way to work today I was seriously thinking about how I needed to figure out how much money we were lacking in our adoption fund. And then blam, a dear dear person felt led by the Lord to GIVE. Really give. Again I'm humbled by the Lord and how He provides right when we need it. But also by the faithfulness and obedience of His people. How I pray that when the Lord wants to use me that I am found faithful...so that others can see Him and His glory thru me.

His name means everything

So yesterday I found myself in a complete state of panic and paralyzation over an issue that I have absolutely no control over whatsoever. Slowly but progressively my flesh allowed fear and panic to take over. I felt my whole body ball into a tight knot. The prayers of dear friends brought me to a place where HE reminded me who HE was, is, and will always be.

He is Elohim, creator of all..including my son and future children. He is El Elyon, most high and sovereign God. He is El Shaddai. All sufficient God almighty for whatever I need. He is Adonai, Lord and Master and I will submit to whatever His will is. He is El Roi, the God who sees. He sees and knows my situation;nothing has surprised or escaped Him. He is Jehovah Jireh and Jehovah Rapha. My provider of everything I need and healer of all...including my heart if it breaks. He is Jehovah Nissi, my Banner, my victory. He is all this and more, how could I not trust Him?!
As my dear friend reminded me, the whole Earth trembles at His voice, so He's quite capable of handling this situation and doesn't need my help. After all is said and done, His grace is sufficient for me, no matter what happens. When the Lord reminded
me of all this, a peace and comfort came over me that brought me sheer joy. The Holy Spirit is the only one thing that can explain that. I pray, please pray with me, that I remember who God is in my time of not knowing. That I will have faith and not fear. Praise the Lord for all He is to me

El Elyon

El Elyon, God Most High.  He certainly is that.  You know the last time I posted, I spoke about trusting in God's sovereignty..and He has more than proved it to me..(not that He has to, He's just cool like that).  You know when things didn't go our way, and we had a little disappointment in our adoption journey, things did go somebody's way...  Another couple celebrated parenthood for the first time.  A man and woman, desperate for a baby, nearly giving up hope, wondering if adoption was right for them, saw God's sovereignty.  Praise Him.  He's so good.  Again and again I see why He is, among so many other things, El Elyon- God most High.  Thank you Lord for giving that joy to a precious couple.

His grace is sufficient for me

It has to be, otherwise there's no way I could survive the emotional roller coaster of adopting. Of course I KNOW in my head and believe that He is sovereign..so I understand that all the blips, disappointments, hurts and rejections all have a purpose. It's easy to see..it happened with my son. Before he came along there was a huge disappointment with a failed adoption placement but when he came I knew that he was the reason the first one didn't go through..because it was HE that was supposed to join our family. No doubt in my mind that he was the child God intended for us to have. Nonetheless it was still hard when we went through it. How could it not be?? So this time around, we have already had our hopes up and down once. A disappointment. But the Lord keeps whispering in my ear two things..His grace is sufficient for me and Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. So YES I trust him, but God never says we won't hurt. He just says trust Him. So of course I will and do hurt, but man do I trust Him. His grace is sufficient for me.